


Tell Me You Love Me

by Tastethatcake



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Destiel - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sad, Short, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, TW: Suicide, TW: cutting, be careful if you're triggered by suicide or cutting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-29
Updated: 2013-12-29
Packaged: 2018-01-06 13:09:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1107235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tastethatcake/pseuds/Tastethatcake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester finally broke down after so many years of keeping his feelings bottled up. Castiel finds Dean broken and almost insane, with no way to save him. After all, what's dead should stay dead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tell Me You Love Me

Castiel was a very patient angel.

It was almost impossible to get him frustrated enough to snap, but when he did he often took drastic measures. Slashing at whatever stood in his way, an angry Cas was truly a man to fear.

He was almost at that point.

“Sam, Dean... pick up. This is the last time I’m calling you before I find you. I will find you.” Cas spoke into the phone, shielding the speaker with his hand from the roaring of cars driving past.

It had been two long months since Cas saw, or even spoke to Sam and Dean. He had helped the brothers with a particularly tough and important case, they all said goodbyes, and they split up again. A week later, when Cas had called Dean, no one picked up. Not the next day, either. Cas called everyone he could, including Bobby Singer, who didn’t pick up. It was like everyone suddenly cut him off. He tried to find the boys, but he was blocked from using his angelic powers by the Enochian Sigils that he himself carved into the boy’s ribcages. When Cas had gone to Bobby, his house was empty, and it was every time Cas tried to find him after.

It was like Sam and Dean had disappeared of the face of the Earth.

“It’s been two months. Pick up the damn phone.” Cas’s voice was rough, angry. He couldn’t figure out what he had done to deserve this treatment.

“Hello?” A voice answered suddenly. It was Sam.  
“Sam! What happened? Why didn’t you contact me?”  
“Cas, we’re not hunting anymore.” Sam’s voice sounded tired.  
“What?”  
“We quit hunting.”  
“Let me speak to Dean.” Cas said hurriedly, gripping the cellphone tight in his hand.  
“Dean isn’t here.” Sam’s voice cracked.  
“Where is he?”  
“I can’t tell you. He... he doesn’t want to be seen.”  
“Tell me where Dean is. Now.” Cas spoke through clamped teeth.  
“Fine. He’s at... Saint Marie’s psychiatric hospital, in Minnesota.”  
“Alright,” Cas said, about to hang up.  
“Wait! Castiel, please... I’m warning you, be careful.”  
“Why?”  
“I can’t really explain. Just, please... be careful with Dean. He’s not right.”  
“Alright-”  
“Cas. Help him, please. Save Dean.”  
Cas paused for a moment, mouth open slightly, before saying “Fine.”  
Without another word, Sam hang up the phone and Cas was left with silence.

*******

The psychiatric hospital was sterile, with white walls and floors and glaring lights on the ceilings. He walked through the hallway quickly, trying to sense Dean’s presence through the walls. He glanced through windows as he passed them, looking in to see if Dean was in any of the rooms. Finally, something caught his attention. A hunched body in the back of one of the rooms he was passing.

Cas teleported himself into the room with a twitch of his finger, ignoring the door completely. The room was more like a cell than anything. There was only one thing in it, a bed placed in the corner of the room. It’s headboard completely padded. There were no hard surfaces in the room, Cas noticed, scanning the walls.

“Who are you?” The man asked, words tumbling out of his mouth. 

It was Dean. He pushed himself off the floor quickly, leaning against the wall for support. He was wearing simple green pants and a shirt, and he was barefoot. He was a patient. He was frail, too, his previously muscled arms shrunk down into thin sticks. His face was pale, and he looked scruffy and unclean.

“Castiel.” He replied, cocking his head curiously.  
“No... you’re not an angel, are you?” The volume of Dean’s voice was increasing. There was fear in his eyes, genuine fear, as he backed into the wall. “I don’t want you here, leave me alone, leave me alone-”  
“Dean, I’m Cas. I’m your... friend.” Cas said, taking a step towards Dean.   
“Friend?” He replied, his voice blank.  
“Yes.” Cas was puzzled. It must have been a case gone bad, some supernatural being decided to ruin Dean’s life and neither Sam or anyone else could figure out a solution.   
‘Why didn’t you come to me, Dean? I may be able to help you. What did this to you? Was it a demon?” It was hard to believe that there was a demon with the power to turn someone insane, but it wasn’t impossible.  
“Cas? Cas, is it you?” Dean said, ignoring Cas’s questions. He didn’t move away from the wall, but his fists unclenched.  
“Yes, it’s me. How did this happen? Who did this to you?” He asked again.  
“Life.” Dean said, looking at the wall over Cas’s shoulder.  
“Life?”  
“I don’t know if you noticed, Cas, but I’m the unluckiest bastard in the world.” Dean absently moved his hands behind his body as if he was protecting them.  
“Dean, you’re not making any sense. Come with me.” Cas stepped towards Dean.  
“No!” Dean’s voice was suddenly a shout. He threw a punch at Cas, who easily dodged it and took another step closer. He grabbed Dean’s hand, and Dean began to scream nonsense and flail about, desperately trying to jerk his hands away from Cas’s grip. 

But Cas saw something.  
He quickly twisted Dean’s hands so his wrists were facing up. There were two scars, one wrapping around each wrist. They were long, thick, and still puckered up as if they were fairly recent.   
“Dean,” Cas said, his voice low. Dean stopped flailing, tears rolling down his cheeks and dripping onto his shirt. “You tried to kill yourself?”

Dean jerked his hands away, and this time Cas let him.

“Why?”  
Dean looks away. “What’s dead should stay dead.” His voice was broken.  
“But you’re not dead.”  
“I was. And I should be.”

Cas stepped back, realization dawning on him. It wasn’t some sort of magic that made Dean this way. It was just him. Dean was pushed too hard and he broke. He went insane. He attempted suicide.  
“When, Dean? When did you do this?”  
Dean didn’t respond, and instead sunk back to the floor.

Cas had to guess that this occurred two months ago in the seven days between when Cas talked to Dean in person and when Cas first called and no one answered. 

A heavy weight settling on Cas’s shoulders, pushing him into the earth. He talked to Dean, and he didn’t notice anything was wrong. He was too busy being the mighty and all knowing angel to see that Dean was in pain, and now here he was. Watching Dean cry on the floor of a mental hospital.   
“Let me help you, Dean.” Cas rested his hand on Dean’s shoulder.  
“Leave me alone,” Dean said, but he didn’t bother to smack Cas’s hand away.  
“No. You’re coming with me.” He gripped Dean’s shoulder and tried to pull him up, but Dean began to scream.  
“Nurse! Nurse, there’s an angel in my room! Help me! Help-”

The sound of Dean’s voice was cut off as Cas teleported away. He didn’t take Dean with him, and instead chose a random place in the world and moved himself there. He was standing alone on the countryside, a field surrounding him.

“I brought Dean Winchester out of hell, and he tried to put himself back.” Cas said out loud to himself. “Dean Winchester tried to kill himself. Dean Winchester went insane.” Maybe if he said the words out loud, it would somehow make them untrue. 

As he walked through the flowers, only two thoughts ran through his head, repeating over and over. 

Would Dean Winchester be sane if I treated him differently? If I hadn’t given him all the responsibilities in the world?

Would Dean Winchester still be with me now if he had told him he loved him?

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Supernatural fic. I really like this idea, so if anyone would like this AU to be explored more, tell me in the comments. Thanks for reading!


End file.
